


Hold Me Down

by crispicheva



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Also if you squint there's some ChanBaek, Canon Compliant, EXO are very precious and I love them as a family concept, I personally hate SM :) and it will show in this :), If you haven't listened to Kris's songs then you probably gonna after this, Inspired by Real Events, It's come to a point in writing this fic I'm actually convinced KrisHo is real, Lay is a badass, M/M, Mutual Pining, OT9 EXO - Freeform, Some background on the whole 'members leaving EXO' situation, Suho's name is written "Junmyeon" sorry I don't make the rules, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-29 03:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15720894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispicheva/pseuds/crispicheva
Summary: fate/feɪt/noun1. the development of events outside a person's control, regarded as predetermined by a supernatural power.2. the force that seems to keep Wu Yifan and Kim Junmyeon always within each other's reach, regardless of their actions.





	1. Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooooo.
> 
> An ongoing work I decided to start for the sole purpose of making one of my best friends love Kris Wu. As a Suho stan, and due to some misinformation over Kris leaving EXO, she really hated him.
> 
> Well, I just couldn't have that.
> 
> Which is why, nowadays, Kris is one of her favorite EXO members (OT12 ftw), and I'm currently at 7k words of pure angst and a slow burning Suho x Kris relationship fanfic :') 
> 
> Hope you like it! I tried to make this as canon compliant and realistic as possible, so let me know what you think <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closure is a tricky thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important timeline info: Kris Wu's "July" was released in late 2016, "Miss You" was released in December 2017, and EXO's Dubai fountain show happened in January 2018

Wu Yifan is a man. A strong-willed, hardworking, no-shit-taking man. He knows what he wants and he will fight tooth and nail to get it. He doesn’t let anyone step on him and order him around.

 

Not anymore.

Still some nights he ponders the “what ifs”, wondering how different life could have been for him had he chosen to stay. Yes, SM Entertainment still had a lot to answer for when it came to how it treated EXO’s Chinese members (Yixing seemed to be an exception). Hell, they even made Zitao perform despite his foot injury. Fucking animals, is what they are.

But EXO had been his family away from home. As a child, Yifan had moved around a lot between Canada and China, but as a trainee, he saw the same people every day. He grew up with them. EXO was what made him keep going.

Not SM.

EXO.

Junmyeon.

His co-leader had played a major role in keeping Yifan’s head in the game. Throughout the years until their debut, Yifan, Tao, Luhan and Yixing were overworking themselves to keep up with the Korean members. Junmyeon had coordinated them to help each other, particularly with the language. Luhan had studied with their maknae, Sehun, Tao had been paired up with Baekhyun, and Jongdae had helped Xing.

That had left Junmyeon, the leader of EXO-K, with Yifan, the leader of EXO-M.

It started out softly. You could have called it a crush. Maybe infatuation. But his heart had definitely skipped a beat when Junmyeon stared at him during one of their study sessions.

“Is there something on my face?” 

“’Kris’.” 

“Huh? Wait, is that a word?” 

“No, it’s a stage name. You like it?” 

“A stage name? For who?” 

“Uh. You?” 

“Oh.” Kris. “Why though?” 

“I don’t know. Sounds cool. American.” 

“I’m not American, I’m Canadian.” 

“Technically you’re not Canadian either.” 

“Good point. I like it.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. I think I’m gonna keep it” it was funny seeing Junmyeon blush. “Thanks, Jun.” 

“Don’t mention it, _Kris_.” 

Simpler times. 

He still remembers the first time he was brave enough to kiss him. And every time that had come after that. Junmyeon’s tongue on his had a way of making him feel simultaneously grounded and soaring through the galaxy. 

In 2016, there’s no such thing as simple anymore. 

As Kris Wu stands in the recording studio, handwritten lyrics on his notebook and his heart in his hands, he wonders if Jun will be able to read between the lines. The company had advised him to make slight changes to the song, and he can’t say he’d minded much. It still has his words, and the feeling he’s trying to convey. 

If anyone cares enough to listen. 

So Kris hears the first chords of his song and his mind reels back to last summer, Jun’s body tangled with his for the last time before they parted ways. The melody is sensual like Jun’s lips, the way he moves, his moans (God, his voice). It drips with sexiness and all the things he has done with Jun, to Jun, all he’s shown him and given him. But it’s not a love song. 

He can’t write those yet. 

It’s been a long time since July. 

He hates waking up without him.

 

* * *

 

Kim Junmyeon throws himself on his hotel bed. His body is exhausted, but he feels better than he has in a very long time. EXO’s show at the Dubai Fountain that day had been one of the most rewarding experiences in his life, and Junmyeon still feels the high of their accomplishment.

It’s the kind of feeling he didn’t think he’d ever experience after EXO lost so many members.

Back when it happened, as much as no one voiced it, there were strong concerns about the future of EXO, and doubts over his leadership skills. He still can’t believe the things he’d said when Yifan and the others left, the things SM had made him say to save the company’s image after the lawsuits. Even the members had been upset about their leader’s speech, but they had realized it was a necessary evil to keep the show running.

There had been a time when being a leader hadn’t been a solo job, and Junmyeon missed that time more than any other. Yifan had been his biggest ally in the madness that were their trainee days, and a strong anchor when the post-debut stress had threatened to wash him away for good. They worked together to bring EXO to their full potential, and it always took a severe toll on them, but nothing could knock them down while they had each other.

Junmyeon still remembers those ridiculous study sessions, whenever they could squeeze some time in between practice to work on Yifan’s Korean. How dumbstruck he’d been when Yifan had kissed him while he was explaining how easy verb conjugations are. Suddenly nothing seemed as easy as kissing him back, letting their hands roam to each other’s faces and into the other’s hair. Nothing had ever felt so simple, so natural.

So _right_.

So they did it again. 

And they kept doing it. 

The first memory of Yifan’s tentative lips on him is something Junmyeon still holds very close to his heart. It wraps around his stomach until he feels a good kind of nausea, the one that chases the thought of someone you love. So Junmyeon lets himself sink further into the bed, closes his eyes, and remembers.

 

*****************************

 

“’Suho’.” 

“What?” 

“’Suho’. I think it suits you. It means ‘guardian’, right?” 

Yifan plays absentmindedly with his hair as they cuddle, Junmyeon’s favorite k-drama playing in his computer with the excuse that “it would help Yifan’s learning”. Junmyeon is still considering Yifan’s words. 

“… yeah. It does.” 

Yifan breathes happily against his neck as he scoots closer. 

“Cool.” 

Warmth blooms in Junmyeon’s chest. He kisses his boyfriend. 

“Cool.”

 

*****************************

 

It’s been a while since he’d let his mind wander back to Yifan. There is still too much sorrow lodged in his chest cavity from their separation. He’d known it was the best option for them, the only option that allowed them to make the best out of the careers they’d fought so hard to build. But he keeps the memories like a good luck charm, a small treasure he will hold on to forever, since he had to let go of Yifan. 

Almost two years have passed since then. 

He hasn’t even heard a single one of his songs. 

But he knows their story has come to an end, and he feels closure. Laced with wistfulness, but it’s still closure. 

So Junmyeon connects his phone to the hotel’s Wi-Fi and opens the Youtube app, writing ‘Kris Wu’ in the search tab and letting his finger hover over the Enter key. He breathes in and clicks, the results page loading quickly and showing Yifan’s various music videos. Junmyeon takes a moment to process that he’s doing this, and that this is closure. Closure. Which is what he wants. 

‘ _July_ ’? It looks like Kris Wu’s most viewed MV, so Junmyeon plugs in his earphones and goes for that one first. 

The song starts, and it has a strong bass to it. It feels sensual, like a drawn out moan, the kind of sound that fills your whole body with a humming sensation. And then Kris, in blue neon light.

The man’s voice is still as addictive as he remembers it, and it fits so well with the English lyrics, it takes Junmyeon’s breath away for a moment. Thirty seconds in and he finally sees him, silver hair and tan skin. 

Damn, he looks good. 

He thinks the Western style fits Yifan, in a gangster kind of way that makes Junmyeon snort in amusement when he remembers how long Wu Yifan used to take to moisturize and dress up. It’s a good look on him and Junmyeon takes a second to confirm that, yes, parting had been the best option for them. Kris seems to be thriving as a solo artist, and Junmyeon feels his heart swell with pride. 

He feels happy. 

Yeah. 

No, he doesn’t. 

He can’t blame Yifan for leaving SM Entertainment after the shit he’d been put through, but the fact that he’d chosen to cut all ties with EXO and even its former members is something that still causes Junmyeon a lot of pain. The man had just been there one day and gone the next. 

He hadn’t even had the heart to tell Junmyeon they were done.

He likes to think that their break up was this kind of joint decision, like it had been a mature choice and a mutual understanding that they'd be better apart. In reality, they'd last seen each other in the summer of 2016, when Kris's contract disputes with SM finally ended. Then the man had vanished.

Now, however, in Dubai and after so long, his heart has healed enough for him to admit that he really shouldn’t have expected anything else. He couldn’t have demanded more from Yifan, and even if it had felt like betrayal, for Yifan it had been a matter of survival.

(Still, a text wouldn’t have killed him.)

There’s a drop in the song and Junmyeon decides he likes it. To be honest, he’s really impressed, and even though it’s not his usual choice in music genre, it’s the kind of song he can see himself listening on repeat to. But maybe he’s just biased.

The song ends and Junmyeon is surprised to realize he wants to listen to more of Yifan's songs. He clicks the next video, one titled ' _Deserve_ ' featuring some American rapper whose name he thinks he's already seen in Chanyeol's playlist. This video seems like a different kind of concept, with the women and the fire, and the song sounds a lot more chill. Kris's voice drags along the English words, and then he's rapping. _Rapping_. Junmyeon thinks this might be a bit too much for his health.

Overall, the song doesn't leave much of an impression, but he likes listening to Yifan's voice and the almost lazy way he sings. At some point, he's not even paying attention to the video anymore, so when the song comes to an end Junmyeon decides to check the lyrics.

Okay, well he's a bit unimpressed.

Kris Wu sings about fame and money and women and clubbing, and he doesn't know what he expected because that's what 90% of Western Pop music consists of. Still, the man who used to recommend ' _Baby_ _Don't Cry_ ' to everyone he knew is now writing this kind of song. But Junmyeon tries to think nothing of it: it's Yifan's career and he fought for his right to decide on his own music.

While he's at it, he decides to search the lyrics for ' _July_ ', the first song he listened to.

Ah, this one sounds different.

Wait.

 

« _I've been looking for a reason to have you in my arms again,_

_ Where you wanna be _ _»_

_("Don't play hard to get, Jun, you know you love me")_

 

_«_ _ Talking until the morning, we don't need any sleep, _

_ I hate it when you go to work _ _»_

_("Yeah, I know, but I'm not tired yet")_

 

_«_ _ Laying till the sun down, feels like a dream, _

_ I hate it when we go to work _ _»_

_("Wish I could see you right now")_

 

_«_ _ You should be here _ _»._

_("You should be here")_

 

It can't be.

 

_«_ _ Baby, baby, I'm doing what feels right _ _»_

 

Yifan had officially left EXO on July 21st. ' _July_ '.

He left.

Yifan left him.

So, what the hell is this?

Junmyeon takes a deep breath as he reads, no longer lying calmly on his bed but sitting on the edge of it, phone in his hand like he's holding his heart out.

It can't be. It's not.

He's almost calling it a night when a related link shows up on the webpage and it shows anther song from Kris, from less than a month ago, one he hasn't listened to yet. ' _Miss_ _You_ ', and what surprises him the most is the fact that it's in Mandarin.

You know what? Screw it, might as well.

He presses the link.

The video thumbnail shows up on a lyrics page, and he presses play as he gently swipes down, eyes skimming through the words.

And wow, this is a duet. A ballad.

 

_«_ _ I miss you, miss you, keep missing you. _ _»_

_("So what if I saw you yesterday? I missed you")_

 

_«_ _ I want to stay with you. _

_ It's you. It's you. It's you. _

_ I will remember your scent. _ _»_

_("Let me sleep here tonight, you always smell so nice, Jun")_

 

_«_ _ Our love has not come true. _

_ I am afraid my sight is blurred. _ _»_

_("You think we could last forever?")_

 

_«_ _ For us, _

_ are you willing to _

_ have a long distance relationship? _ _»_

_("Forever with you would be too long, and probably still not enough.")_

 

Yifan's voice sounds so much more like himself, smooth and laced with emotion, even when he's rapping. The contrast between the two voices works so well with the background beat that Junmyeon is slightly taken aback. The song is beautiful.

Before he realizes it, Junmyeon feels tears dripping down his cheeks, small droplets that cascade silently as he feels a weight being lifted from his chest. He smiles despite himself. He's still so ridiculously in love.

 

_«_ _ Tell me what you wanna say, _

_ Show me how you're feeling, babe _ _»_

 

He still hates waking up without him.

 He can fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes okay so MAYBE i headcanon that Suho and Kris chose each other's stage names :) fight me


	2. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Hello, Duizhang. We need to talk."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the OT9 dynamic so much you guys :'(

The sun peeks through his blinds and Yifan yawns lazily. He's tired in a way that doesn't seem to go away with sleep, and he wonders what else he should try. His hectic schedule, with filming and photoshoots and recordings, hasn't even been leaving him with enough time to visit his charity organizations, or do much more than send them money. He mentally scoffs at how detached that feels, and makes a mental note to rearrange his schedule so he can visit his kids more often.

All this stress has been taking a serious toll on him, and he really should be more careful with his health now that he's the only one looking after himself.

Now that he's alone.

Well, what a perfect thought to start the day, he muses. 

In reality, Kris Wu doesn't feel lonely. He doesn't really need someone's company, more so because the last few times he indulged himself in that regard, the women he was with turned out to be absolute trouble and leaked sleeping photos of him, claiming they were his "girlfriends". 

God, everything is just so tiring. 

So he just throws himself head-first into his work, and hopes the rest will solve itself. Even his lyrics are getting more indifferent to him as time passes, and the industry is putting too much weight on his shoulders for him to still enjoy this. He's really just exhausted. 

But he can't rest. He fought for this, and like with all that is good, this is the bad side of it. 

He misses his family. 

And sometimes he really fucking misses Jun. 

Yifan has been following EXO ever since he left. He's watched almost every interview and gotten every album, and he feels an odd sense of pride that EXO are thriving despite their earlier struggles. Yifan is no fool, and he can only imagine how hard it's been for Suho to keep leading them after him, Tao and Luhan left. 

That guilt has never once let Yifan reach out to him, ask for his forgiveness, ask for another chance. Yifan disappeared exactly because of it. And because of his cowardice, Junmyeon had had to clean up the mess after him, alone. 

So there's no way to go back now. 

His lyrics were his closest attempt at courage, but they had just become best-selling singles with nothing to add to them but regret. 

Kris rolls away from the sunshine that threatens to burn his eyelids and buries his face in his pillow. He's too lazy to close the blinds completely but the brightness is on the verge of giving him a headache. 

New York definitely hates him. 

As he ponders what to do, his phones chimes with a text and he groans. He drags himself to the edge of the bed to clumsily get his phone from the bedside table. The screen lights up with a message from an unknown number, and Kris's eyes widen.

" _Hello, Duizhang. We need to talk._ "

 

* * *

 

It's been a while since Zhang Yixing has been in Korea. His solo career, coupled with his role on multiple idol shows, leaves him with too little time to visit his fellow EXO members. Regardless, Yixing does his best to fit in some time during his breaks to visit his family away from home, and never regrets the sleepless flights and extraordinary work hours when he gets back, because he really misses EXO.

He loves his life right now, but he can’t wait to join them again. 

Baekhyun is the one who picks him up at the airport and takes him out to eat along with Chanyeol, Minseok and Jongdae. The conversation flows nicely, jumping from Korean to Chinese and back again as the EXO-M’s make it a game to throw Baekhyun and Chanyeol off, and because they find great amusement in their confused but determined expressions. 

After they eat, they take Yixing to their dorm, where they meet with the other members. It’s been a while since he’d last seen them, so they make a huge fuss over having him there: Sehun is hanging on his arm, practicing his Chinese in a hasty, dragged out speech, so clumsy it makes Yixing smile widely as he answers back; Jongin is gently tugging on his sleeve to get him to see the moves he’s be working on, while Kyungsoo pulls Jongin’s hair in an attempt at giving Yixing some space.

Then he sees his leader.

He gives him a slight bow before Suho smiles and pulls him into a tight hug.

Yixing smiles too, because this never stopped feeling like home. 

 

In less than two days, Yixing is returning to China, so EXO arrange their schedules to be able to spend as much time with him as possible. Since Lay is still on very good terms with SM Entertainment, it’s not hard to do so: they’ve been working almost non-stop until now and their comeback isn’t until August (which is roughly 4 months from now), so they’re allowed a break. 

It’s nice to walk around Seoul again, something that never fails to make Yixing remember his trainee days. No one knows Lay is in Korea right now, so they mostly walk in small separate groups and always wearing masks. They go out to eat together most of the times, although SM advised them to keep a low profile, so on their last night together they decide to eat in. Kyungsoo is the main cook of EXO, so he gives each member a task, and between preparing the ingredients and setting the table, they each work on it to prepare dinner. 

Suho and Yixing have to cut up a whole tray of vegetables, so they get to it before Ksoo changes his mind and makes one of them peel potatoes alongside Jongin ( _“But_ _hyung, why is it always me?”_ _“I’d_ _put you on clean up, but Xiumin-hyung insists on doing it himself”_ ). They wash their hands before splitting the vegetables between the two of them, and start cutting. 

“It’s really nice to have you here, Xing.” 

Yixing smiles fondly. “It’s really nice to be here.” 

“How’s home?” 

“Home is great, it’s really busy there but everything is going well. It’s nice to have Jackson with me there, who’s kind of in the same situation. He’s too hype sometimes, but he’s a great friend and a big help.” 

Suho speaks before he can think. 

“Have you seen Kris lately?” 

Yixing stops the knife and looks up, surprised. 

“Kris?“ 

Suho looks unaffected, not pausing as he chops a carrot. 

“Yeah. Yifan. I’ve been thinking about him lately." 

Yixing knows they used to be together. As much as they tried to hide it from the other members, they were never exactly subtle. Still, none of the members ever approached them about it, and after Kris left, they never felt the need to. So Yixing decides to be careful about this. 

“You have? How come?” 

Suho looks wistful as he picks up another carrot. 

“… don’t you ever think about them?” 

“They left because they wanted to”, Yixing says rather harshly, even to his own ears. 

Suho doesn’t react to his words, probably because Yixing had made his thoughts known since the beginning.

“What’s the point of thinking about that traitor?”, Lay continues. 

“Xing.” 

“What.” 

Suho is looking at him, a mix of caring condescension and sadness in his eyes as he smiles wearily at him. 

“You know they didn’t want to leave. Not really.” 

Yixing misses them a lot. More than he will ever admit to anyone, especially himself. But he’s not ready to forgive them yet. He gives Suho a stubborn look before picking up his knife once more.

“I don’t care, they still left. We had to rebuild ourselves after they decided they were done giving a rat’s ass about us. We were unity, we were a family, we trained together, debuted together, succeeded together. We went through so much together and then he just decides he’s not up for this anymore. I can’t let that go, I’m sorry.”

There it is. Yixing's still angry at Yifan the most. 

But had they known what Yifan had gone through to stay with them for as long as he had?

Junmyeon muses at how everyone, including himself, overlooked Yifan's suffering for so long. 

"You're not seeing the bigger picture here, Xing", Suho speaks as a parent would while trying to explain to their child why they can't stick a fork in a power plug, "Yifan got sick, _actually sick_ , because of this company. He did his best to stay with us, but I can't blame him for leaving." _And neither should you._  

Yixing really wants to argue, tell Suho that it's still not fair, but he's not a child. He knows unfair, and unfair was the fact that he was the only Chinese member that was treated right in EXO. So Yixing keeps slicing up a cucumber while pointedly not looking at his leader. 

"We speak from a higher place, a privileged place, because we never faced the struggles he, Tao and Luhan did." Yixing looks away at these words, a sad look painting his expression, because that exact thought stills eats at him. He feels guilty, even though it's not his fault. He remembers Tao complaining about his hip injury multiple times and still being forced to perform. He remembers Luhan trying to breathe into a bag before a show because of a panic attack.

He remembers Kris crying at night when he thought everyone was asleep.

It's not his fault, so he tried to put the blame on the ones SM hurt the most.

Because SM is a monster, but it's too hard to hate the monster who raised you.

"You wanna know the worst part?" Suho asks, smiling sadly.

Yixing meets his eyes and his heart breaks a little.

"I really think he misses us."

Yixing should scoff, but besides being disrespectful, Suho's eyes shine with small tears he won't shed. He speaks like he knows something. Something Yixing is missing.

"Why do you say that? He cut us off his life completely, if he missed us he'd still come around."

"I don't think he can", Suho says seriously, "and it isn't even about pride. I think he knows where he went wrong but now he just believes it's too late."

"And isn't it?" Yixing asks as he finishes cutting the last vegetable.

Suho picks up the vegetable pieces and dumps them all in a bowl.

"We are one, remember?", he smiles.

He turns away to hand the bowl over to Kyungsoo, leaving Yixing to wonder just how much he missed.

After they eat, Lay types out a text to a number he hasn't used in a very long time, a number he's kept for no reason at all.

And he waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuhhhuhuhuhuuhuh shit is about to go down, i live for this


	3. Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much are you willing to lose over your pride?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ all the Lay stans: this one's for you

Kris rubs at his stiff neck. He's been too tense lately, and even his first-class flight hadn't been comfortable enough for him to relax.

It's been too long since he's been home, what with his schedule and his almost certainty that, once he'd be back, he'd never leave again.

As he sits in a quiet park in Chungsha, Yifan thinks that this doesn’t count like going home at all.

It’s been nearly a week since Yixing sent him that text, and to say it caught Yifan by surprise would be an understatement: the younger man had certainly made his displeasure known when his former leader decided to leave. Yixing would have been the last person he’d expect to hear from.

Okay, maybe second to last.

So he sits, and he waits, having arrived at their meeting spot around 20 minutes earlier than agreed. It's been a while since he's been this anxious, not because he's afraid Yixing will kick his ass (which, for the record, would not be a first), but because Yixing comes to him as a painful reminder of his wrongdoings.

Even after deleting his contact, he knew it had been Xing to send that message.

" _Hello, Duizhang. We need to talk._ "

_"Sunday, April 22_ _ nd _ _. 11 am. Chungsha Nanjiao Park. Don't be late."_

One week and a half notice, and Yifan still can't explain what came over him to drop everything to meet Yixing in his hometown (there hadn't been much to drop anyways, with most of his schedule cleared after finishing the filming and doing all the shoots, but still). He doesn't even remember replying the _"I'll_ _be there"_ that followed, he only knows his body moved on autopilot as he got dressed to meet up with his manager, and next thing he knew, he was in a plane back to China.

Maybe this was really just as good an excuse as any to get away. 

The weather is pleasantly warm, so Yifan closes his eyes as a gentle breeze carries the scent of cherry blossoms over to him. It allows him to relax just a little, and he relishes the feeling before opening his eyes once more and facing reality.

Yixing arrives a few seconds later, and although he’s casually dressed, a black hoodie and a pair of worn-out jeans, his posture speaks of nothing but business. Yifan braces himself for a terse greeting and an awkward atmosphere, as he still has no clue as to why he was summoned almost halfway across the world, by Zhang Yixing of all people.

He is not prepared, however, for Yixing to sit harshly next to him like a sulky teenager, and reach an arm out to him as he holds a purple snack pack. Yifan is stunned for a second before he looks at the pack and recognizes the dried fruit snacks Yixing always used to carry back when they were trainees, and something clenches in his chest. He waves Yixing off politely and Yixing retracts his arm, munching calmly.

They both look straight ahead as if they’re strangers on the same park bench, and maybe they really are, while Yixing munches on his snacks and Yifan wonders if he’s somehow landed himself in an alternate reality by accident.

“I’m still pissed at you”, Yixing says at last, and Yifan doesn’t really know what he expected but he nods as he pushes away the thought that Yixing had dragged him all the way back to China just to tell him that. Yixing wouldn’t be so petty.

The silence between them stretches as the younger man keeps chewing, but somehow his words had eased some of the tension that had clung to Yifan for the past days. They’re certainly not on friendly terms at the moment, but Yixing’s tone had displayed no anger, and as much as it confused Yifan, it reassured him.

It’s time to find out why they're here.

“It’s been a while”, Yifan says as he leans back, making himself more comfortable on the wooden bench.

“Yeah. Had a lot of time to think about some things”, Yixing’s voice sounds bored, but Yifan senses some kind of message behind his words.

“Such as?”

Yixing reaches into the snack pack once more.

“I talked to Junmyeon-shi.”

The younger man notices how Yifan seems to still, clearly caught by surprise at the information, and definitely beginning to feel uncomfortable. It takes the older man a second to slip back into his carefree façade, exhaling slowly as he looks positively disinterested.

“So?”

Yixing is done wasting both their times.

“The idiot misses you.”

Yifan looks at him like he’s lost it before he scoffs – the man _scoffs_. The look of shock on Yifan’s face would’ve made Yixing laugh if he didn’t currently feel like punching his teeth in. He doesn’t even know what Yifan finds so unbelievable about his statement, but he crumples the plastic pack in his hand as he gets up to stand in front of his former leader. Kris leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees as he cracks his knuckles, a nervous habit he’d long dropped.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve making me come here for that shit”, Kris says, his short temper starting to show. “What exactly did you expect to accomplish here?”

Lay is slowly losing his patience.

“You two were never as subtle as you might have thought you were.”

That was definitely a blow Yifan hadn’t seen coming. The memory of not only his EXO days, but also his relationship with Jun, is like a bucket of cold water over his head. His mind is running a mile a second, and he latches onto the first emotion he can grasp: resentment.

“So you call me here and speak like you know shit of what happened, and for what? For me to go back and apologize? So we can be like before and play house like we’re a big happy _family_?”, Kris spits out the last word.

That’s when Lay snaps.

“I didn’t come here to make peace with you, you stupid fuck”, he growls, “but you know damn well you were always in the wrong here!”

“I’m fine being the bad guy, I always was! You were all living your dream and big bad Kris fucked it all up when he left, what a selfish son of a bitch, I get it!”, the older man’s voice is loud and full of backed up frustration, and his control has completely left him. “You waited almost two years to spit that in my face some more, Xing? What do you want from me?!”

“EXO is doing just fine without you, _Duizhang_ ”, Lay replies with a sneer, his voice dripping with contempt, “so get your head out of your ass for one goddamn second and stop playing the victim, it doesn’t suit you.”

Kris almost laughs.

“You’re right, it really doesn’t. I never saw myself as a victim, not even when SM treated us like trash. That doesn’t mean I was happy about it, you self-centered, entitled moron”, Kris is now in Lay’s face, standing above him in all their height difference. Lay doesn’t look fazed in the least.

“You quit on us and didn’t even bother giving us a heads-up” Lay says firmly, eyes narrowed as bitterness find its way to his mind. “You were our _leader_ , and you just left.”

Kris’s anger seems to disperse slightly and guilt starts taking its place. It’s not a better feeling. “I know, okay?! I did things the wrong way! But that still doesn’t give you any right to tear me down some more over leaving. I did what I had to.”

Lay is finally seeing some cracks in Kris’s walls, and it surprises him how much it shows in the older man’s expression.

“Suho was right then.”

The mention of the EXO leader brings Kris back to himself, but he’s still at a loss,

“Suho?”

“He said you didn’t leave by choice. You felt like you had to.” Yixing steps back and sits back down on the bench, his fury quickly melting away as it dawns on him. “And you kept it from us because you didn’t want to burden us.”

Yifan feels like he should say something, deny it with everything he has, keep up the front he’s been working so hard on maintaining all this time, but his words fail him.

Yixing looks up at him and chuckles in disbelief.

“Wow, what an idiot.”

Kris’s eyes narrow dangerously.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. What a fucking idiot!”, Yixing is now furious, “What part of ‘ _We_ _are one_ ’ did you not get? Did you think that was just some cute catch phrase for the fans? Some pretty message that held absolutely no meaning?”, Yixing looks up at Yifan and his eyes are shining with outrage.

“You were supposed to trust us, like we trusted you, Duizhang”, this time the word doesn’t sound like an insult, but it hurts Yifan all the same.

“And you’re right, you know? Me and most of the other members didn’t get half the unfair treatment you guys did”, Yixing registers the surprise in Yifan’s face as their eyes meet and wonders if it’s the first time Yifan’s hearing this from someone else, “but that doesn’t mean you were alone. That doesn’t mean it would be you against us or SM. We were a family, a real team, so how could you have thought we’d rather have you suffer by yourself than rely on us?”

Yifan is stunned by Yixing’s words. He finally finds his voice.

“That wouldn’t have changed anything, I’d still leave-”

“If you had to leave then you’d leave!”

This time, Yifan is plain confused. Yixing seems to sense it, and sighs before lowering his voice.

“What I mean is. You were obviously unhappy with how things were back then, and there was no way in hell that was gonna change even if you sued them. Which you did, and voilá, nothing happened. We’re not selfish enough to want to keep you in EXO against your will, so we weren’t mad about you leaving.”

“We were mad about you cutting us off like you did. Mad because you were there one day and gone the next, and told absolutely nobody. Not even Junmyeon-shi.”

The bench shakes slightly as Yifan drops himself uncerimoniously beside Yixing.

“What could I have told him, Xing?”, Yifan’s voice wavers slightly. “This was betrayal.”

“No”, Yixing interrupts, “this was survival.”

The look Yifan levels him speaks volumes of a mind that has been torn between loyalty and happiness. A mind that has never considered compromise as a middle ground. And as much as Yixing condemns his former leader for the inability to think past his struggles, he can’t help but admire him for his sacrifice.

“He’s waiting for you.” Yixing continues. “If nothing else, you owe him an apology.”

Yifan sniffles beside him so Yixing stares straight ahead, letting the older man even his breathing until he speaks again.

“You’re right.” Yifan looks up at him, and although his eyes shine, his smile is warm.

“Thank you, Xing. And I’m really sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

Yixing doesn’t really know what he’d expected when he’d typed that message a week ago, but seeing Wu Yifan smile at him like this again, after all the damage and hurt, asking for his forgiveness, he can’t help feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Yixing smiles back, a shy smile that touches his eyes more than his lips.

“It’s good to have you back, Duizhang.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 50 points to your Hogwarts house if you got the Kris/Yifan and Lay/Yixing transitions  
> Another 20 if you noticed the parallels between Lay's words and Suho's speech in chapter 1  
> This conflict took me about a full day to get done, but I think I covered pretty much every standpoint in the EXO split up discussion. Mind you, I love Kris and hate SM, so I'm pretty biased :)


	4. What If

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shot in the dark might still hit the target.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the few people who are following this fic as i post it:  
> 1) i'm so sorry, i can't keep an updating schedule to save my life  
> 2) as you can probably tell, i suck at naming my chapters so feel free to suggest me some titles :)
> 
> let's begin

 

 

It’s been a while since Wu Yifan has gotten himself on a plane to land in Seoul Incheon. Looking at the situation objectively, it’s been a while since he’s spent a weekend outside his home or studio, so it’s a nice change of pace. The view from his window seat shows him nothing but soft clouds, the May weather mostly sunny and pleasantly warm.

It’s ridiculous how cold his blood is running.

Almost a month ago, Zhang Yixing made him fly his sorry ass to Chungsha and lectured him on his past behavior. His pride had been thoroughly shattered by the younger man’s harsh words, but in the end Yifan is glad they managed to work through most of their disputes. He’ll throw himself in a tank with a white shark before he admits this out loud, but he really misses everyone.

He hates being alone, and lately, that’s all he’s been.

So this is Kris Wu compromising. He’s flying to Seoul to talk to Kim Junmyeon after two years. To apologize.

Talk about a plot twist.

For the upteenth time this month, Yifan wonders if he crashed into an alternate dimension and is still unaware. His manager probably thinks he’s on drugs, but has made no move to stop him so far.

The plane lands and the Chinese man puts on his face mask, his designer shades and covers the rest of his face with his hoodie. To an outsider, he’s just one more passenger, so he feels at ease as he walks through the airport. The reality of the situation still hasn’t hit him, which has to be the only explanation as to why he’s so calm. Yifan puts on his earphones and blasts some American rap song to keep himself from thinking too hard.

He’s a man on a misson.

 

* * *

 

Kim Junmyeon starts his day like any other: a cup of coffee and a simple egg toast while he slides through today’s headlines on his tablet. He catches an article about the USA-North Korea summit, but before he can read it, his phone chimes with a text.

He sighs. Texts on a Sunday morning are never a good sign.

Junmyeon checks his phone and it sparks his curiosity: it’s a text from Chanyeol.

The tall man rarely texts him from his own phone (often choosing to use Baekhyun’s or Yesung’s instead), so Junmyeon takes a second to pull himself from his surprise and actually read the message.

“ _Leader-ssi, you know the sushi restaurant by Cheongdam Park? Meet us there for lunch! Xiumin-hyung got us a table at 13h30, see you soon!_ _-PCY”_

Junmyeon smiles and replies a quick “ _Very_ _well, see you soon_ " and sets to washing his mug before putting on a simple grey tracksuit and brushing his teeth. He figures he has around 1 hour to cycle around the city and enjoy the nice weather before coming back home to shower and running to the agency for some information on their upcoming schedule. Since SM Entertainment isn’t too far from Cheongdam Park, he decides he’ll just walk from there to the restaurant.

With great part of his day already planned out, he sets off.

 

* * *

 

Yifan finds himself at a loss when he considers his course of action. In an ideal setting, he could call Junmyeon (whose number he still has, as long as the man hasn’t changed it), meet up, apologize and get rid of any bad blood between them. He could actually go as far as meeting the rest of EXO and extending his apologies, and all would be right and forgiven, and he’d go back home with a clean conscience.

He mentally scowls at how laughable it sounds.

First of all, none of this could ever be considered  _ideal_ .  _Ideally_ , he wouldn’t have had to get his ass handed to him by a man lacking 13 centimeters on him to be able to get this done. But what’s in the past is in the past, and for good and bad, Zhang Yixing has gotten him here, which is a lot more than he’s done for himself so far.

Second of all, realistically speaking, does he actually believe he will earn the EXO members’ forgiveness, even if he throws every speck of pride he has left out the window to deserve it? Let’s see, Chanyeol could probably understand why he acted the way he did, as he’s someone Yifan actually considered one of his closest friends in EXO. The others, however… Baekhyun might actually try to kill him, who knows.

And third.

What if he sees Jun again, and the man forgives him with that stupidly big heart of his? Oh god, what if he smiles? Will Yifan be able to leave again?

Breathing in deeply and deciding to take things one step at a time, he types out a quick text to Yixing, asking him a favor. His phone vibrates a few minutes later with a single contact attached:

_Park Chanyeol - Contact information_

“ _Thanks_ ", he sends, before he adds Chanyeol’s number to his contact list. His phones vibrates again.

“ _Good luck_ "

 

* * *

 

Junmyeon parks his bike in his garage and heads inside, feeling refreshed and pleasantly roused. Work has been critical lately, as their comeback is due in about 3 months and they haven’t even started shooting the MV, which means he hasn’t been able to exercise much lately outside of practice. Going to the gym holds absolutely no appeal to him, as he’d much rather go cycling outside, or jogging around the city.

It always helps him think.

Not much has changed since the fountain show in Dubai, and although talking to Yixing helped him clear his head a bit about Yifan, he’s still not sure what to do about it. Even if Junmyeon were to somehow reach out to him, there’s a high chance he’ll simply be poking an old wound to absolutely no result. Not a good one, at least.

It’s true he misses him. So much. But does he really expect it to be enough? Kris has a nice life now, he’s living his dream of producing his own music, doing charity work, attending glamorous parties with some of the best Western artists in the world… what does Junmyeon have to offer him anymore?

He remembers exactly how he felt when he listened to Kris Wu’s songs in that lonely hotel in Dubai. The lyrics were too familiar to be just some weird coincidence. It was almost as if they were a message. Like Yifan was reaching out to him, like he was expecting him to read between the lines and hear what Yifan was really saying. Like there was  _hope_ .

Looking back, Junmyeon isn’t sure he wasn’t simply projecting.

As he steps inside his shower stall, he doubts.

 

* * *

 

Park Chanyeol is stunned as he puts his phone down. The voice on the other end of the line had been one he hasn’t heard in years, and it takes Baekhyun clicking his chopsticks in his face to bring him back to reality.

“What’s up with you?”

The tall man excuses himself and heads over to the men’s room. They’ve only ordered a few dumplings so far, but Chanyeol has completely lost his appetite. As he splashes some water on his face and slowly breathes in and out, he looks at himself in the mirror and wonders if he’s just hallucinated a full conversation through the phone with Wu Yifan.

Sounds unlikely. But how much more likely is it that his former leader has just called him to ask him for help with Suho-hyung?

Chanyeol hadn’t said much in reply, too astounded by the sudden call to form any coherent sentence, but he remembers accepting to help Kris-hyung. Today’s a Saturday, which means he’s supposed to send a text to Suho-hyung tomorrow. Kris had told him he’d text him the details later on, and only added a plea for Chanyeol to keep the conversation between the two of them.

He never would’ve guessed being Kris’s closest friend in EXO would end up getting him on matchmaking duty. Alone, on top of everything. Maybe he shouldn’t have complied so quickly.

But then he thinks of Suho-hyung, who doesn’t smile as often nowadays. It’s something that bothers Chanyeol to no end, as someone who always goes out of their way to make sure everyone around them is alright. They’d never said or done anything in public, but it was no secret to any of the members that the two leaders were a couple. Especially when they considered how broken Suho had looked when he heard the news.

With a sigh, he levels himself in front of the mirror and nods in determination. He can do this. Kris needs him.

They both do.

So he steps back into the restaurant and ignores Baekhyun’s questioning look as he sits down again. Chanyeol picks his chopsticks back up and resumes eating, a newfound resolve fueling his actions as he becomes excited over the plan that’s about to unfold.

“Chanyeolie, are you okay?”, Baekhyun sounds uncertain as he assesses the taller man.

Chanyeol chews through a smile.

“You look cute when you worry.”

“Excuse me? I look cute all the time”, Baekhyun answers good-humoredly, but a light blush dusts his cheeks as his attention is successfully diverted from the issue.

That earns a chuckle from Chanyeol and the subject is completely dropped as they bicker while eating. In between bites, the younger man wonders how different things will be by this time tomorrow.

Guess he’ll just have to wait to find out.

 

* * *

 

Junmyeon closes the door of his apartment behind him and heads off to the agency. The weather is sunny but not too warm, and he sighs peacefully while walking through the crowded streets. Many couples, friends and families stroll through the city, enjoying the cloudless day, and he can’t help thinking something’s missing from him. Today in particular is just another painful reminder of a reality he’ll probably never be able to have.

He doesn't take long to arrive at SM Headquarters, and quickly makes his way to meet their managers. He works through the paperwork methodically, almost as if on auto-pilot, which means his mind is free to wander.

There are many memories keeping him company lately, as he’s taking the last of EXO’s time off to stay in his own apartment before he has to move back into the dorm for the comeback. It’s peaceful, a quietness he cherishes as someone used to being part of a crowd.

It’s also rather lonely.

Back when EXO still consisted of 12 members, he’d never had the option of temporarily moving out of the dorm when it got too busy. Sometimes, the only way to escape the noise would be to go for a walk at night and hope everyone would be asleep by the time he returned. Junmyeon used to do it about twice a week, three times if it was a particularly hectic week, and always alone. It was something all the members respected, and one of the rare moments to himself Junmyeon could truly enjoy and treasure.

He loved to return home and curl up next to Yifan, who’d always wait up for him, no matter how tired he was. His boyfriend would kiss him on the forehead and wrap his strong arms around him, and softly breathe out an “i missed you” before drifting off to sleep.

And Junmyeon felt loved.

As he leaves SM and heads out for lunch, he wonders when that feeling stopped.

 

* * *

 

Wu Yifan is a man. A fearless, independent, empowered man.

Sitting inside the restaurant, he doesn’t remember the last time he was this scared.

Chanyeol had really been a huge help in setting his plan in motion. He knew he could never contact Jun directly (or any of the other members really, unless he has a near death wish), so it means a lot to still have allies in EXO. Regardless, he knows he’ll have to be careful and walk on eggshells for a while if he wants to maintain these friendships, as Yixing still seems a side-eye away from dropkicking him back to America.

The waiter comes back after a while, ready to take his order, but Yifan repeats he’s still waiting for someone and politely waves him off. He can’t really blame the man for being so persistent, as he’s been sitting in the same booth for the past 40 minutes and all he’s had is some tea. He really wishes he could stop arriving so early at places when he’s nervous.

He still doesn’t know how he managed to be so lucky as to be able to meet Junmyeon today, of all days, after so long. From this moment on, he swears he won’t have any missed chances, as long as there’s still fight and breath in him. And even if this turns out to be a complete disaster and Junmyeon ends up hating his guts even more than before (if that’s even possible), Yifan knows this is better than hiding away for the rest of his life, always wondering “what if”.

What if Jun hates him?

Yifan misses him.

What if Jun punches him?

It won’t erase the soft touches he holds close to his heart.

And what if Jun leaves again today, for good?

Still Yifan will never stop loving him.

As the door of the restaurant opens and a familiar form makes its way inside, Yifan’s insides turn to ice. Kim Junmyeon is right there, what it feels like a breath away, surveying the sushi place as he undoubtedly looks for Chanyeol and the others, until his eyes land on Yifan.

Their eyes meet and the world stops.

Junmyeon sucks in a breath and Yifan stares at him, and everything else fades into background noise. It’s been too long.

“… Yifan?”

Jesus, that voice. God help him.

“Happy Birthday, Jun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *queue the dramatical insta story sound effect*
> 
> okay so usually i fact-check everything, and i mean, _everything_ i write, but guess who got lazy and more anxious as time passes and i don't have a new update ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ and it's not like you guys actually check if there's really a park near SM Headquarters and stuff like that, so yeah, suho has an apartment here, sue me (for all we know, he might actually have one, just saying)
> 
> meanwhile, this is legit the LONGEST chapter i've ever written (2.3k+ words). like, i've written whole fics that are actually shorter than this chapter. so congratulations on getting through it <3


	5. Try Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're not the only one who has a say in this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, first of all, i want to thoroughly apologize for having taken so long to post this damned chapter, i was on holiday and my internet was SHIT (:  
> second of all, this basically concludes my story, i think it's the shortest chapter so far? anyways, i hope you like it, more notes at the end! <3

There’s no way this is real.

No way in absolute hell this is actually happening.

Because Wu Yifan is suddenly in front of him wearing a gentle, careful smile, and Junmyeon can feel his heart  _ache_ .

How can he be here?

Time seems to skid to a halt like a scratched record, nothing but silence and their heartbeats as they face each other for the first time in years. All the hurt, all the memories, all the longing, everything comes rushing to Junmyeon’s mind as he takes in the face of the man who had once given him everything, and who left with it all.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t really hurt. It almost feels like coming home.

Except everything’s changed, and nothing is easy anymore.

“What are you doing here?”

Yifan’s usually proud frame seems to curl slightly upon itself, and Junmyeon’s voice wounds even himself, but the leader simply sits across from Yifan as he waits for him to answer his question.

“I… I wanted to talk to you”, he doesn’t meet his eyes.

“Why?”

Yifan feels his heart almost coming out of his ribcage from anxiety.

“I wanted to see you”, the words are spoken barely above a whisper. He still isn’t looking at Jun.

“ _Why?_ ", Suho can’t be left wondering. He needs closure.

“Because I miss you, Jun”, Yifan finally meets his eyes, and the sorrow and hopelessness in them makes Junmyeon’s heart break entirely. He almost doesn’t register the words. “I’m a pathetic human being who ran away from you without a word, without an explanation, without a goodbye, because I was too much of a coward to face you after what happened.”

Yifan’s voice sounds defeated, like he’s accepted the fact that forgiveness is beyond his reach.

“I don’t deserve to even look at you, and still I couldn’t stay away anymore. I miss you so much, I-”, Yifan stops talking completely and breathes in deeply before exhaling with a sigh that almost comes out as a sob. “I’m not asking you for another chance, I won’t dare. I just…” Yifan smiles sadly, “… I just wanted to see you again.”

Junmyeon is stunned. No, not stunned. Speechless? Absolutely. Overwhelmed?

Definitely overwhelmed.

Because Wu Yifan, the man who appreciated every little thing about him, who put all the stars in his sky, who made a home in his heart and never found the way out, won’t even dare to ask for another chance.

“It was torture, Yifan”, Junmyeon finally says, and Yifan slumps some more into his seat, “you disappeared and it ruined me. It almost ruined everything we worked for.”

The Chinese man sits with his head down, his forearms resting on the table and his hands clasped tightly, like a man helplessly listening to his death sentence. He doesn’t say a word.

“It was ridiculous, you know? How long I waited for you to reconsider, to return to us and call off the joke? It felt like a stupid, cruel joke, and I hated you! God, I put so much effort into hating you-!”, Junmyeon is whisper shouting at this point, doing his best not to make a scene, and abruptly cuts himself off to take a breath.

The air hangs heavy between them as Junmyeon breathes and Yifan listens, his hopeless heart reminding him of a time when Junmyeon’s breathing was the last thing he heard before sleeping.

Yifan clearly doesn’t expect the man to start giggling quietly, his shoulders shaking with every chuckle. His expression obviously displays his confusion, as Junmyeon reaches out and takes his hand, squeezing tightly.

“I’m sorry”, he breathes out, completely oblivious to the short-circuit that Yifan’s brain has just suffered, “shit, I’m sorry, it’s just…”, his eyes shine with with lonely tears, hurt tears, happy tears.

“I’ve missed you too”, Junmyeon says, and it feels like an epiphany, a single moment when the right words find the right time to spill themselves to the right person. It escapes his control, and it has never felt so liberating to be helpless.

“How can you?”, Yifan sounds legitimately bewildered, “I failed as a leader, as a boyfriend… as a person, really.”

“’ _A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done’,_ do you know who said that?”, Junmyeon asks him quickly. Yifan shakes his head, and the younger man huffs mirthily.

“Neither do I, but Jongdae saw it somewhere on the internet and repeated it to me every time I seemed to doubt myself”, he explains with a shy smile. “You didn’t fail as a leader, you managed to steer completely different people towards a common goal. It didn’t always work out, but in the end we built something amazing, and we were able to stand proud because we worked our butts off for it and took no shortcuts. We made it because you and I and everyone else gave our everything to make our dream a reality.”

The older man pauses, still looking positively unsure of himself, and Junmyeon can’t help but finding it simultaneously frustrating and endearing.

“Yifan, you made yourself sick for EXO. For us. Don’t think I don’t know that”, Junmyeon says softly, and he speaks like he’s apologizing. “You did what you had to do, and we don’t blame you for it. We only wish you would’ve trusted us enough to keep us around.”

“There was no way I could, Jun, how could I leave and still have you guys by my side? Have you with me? It’s an utopia”, Yifan adds miserably, “I could never have both.”

“Well, that’s not really up for you to decide, you idiot”, Junmyeon is smiling at him, and Yifan feels warm all over, because the actual sun is in front of him right now, telling him he doesn’t have to be alone anymore.

“I love you, Jun”, the words tumble from Yifan’s mouth like he breathes, but he can’t bring himself to regret them when every single cell in his body seems attuned to Kim Junmyeon’s mere existence, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Maybe you don’t”, Junmyeon says with a chuckle and squeezes his hand again, “but I love you too. Please don’t run away again.”

Yifan presses his lips to Jun’s over the table, and Junmyeon drowns in his gentleness, in the way Yifan's hand slowly makes its way to his cheek, the man's breath on his tongue. They kiss like they've missed each other for centuries, as they return to the place both had lost hope of ever calling home again. Junmyeon's eyes fill with tears and he feels Yifan smile against his lips. The message is clear.

_I'm not going anywhere._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this chapter really is short af huh-
> 
> thank you so much for sticking with me until the end of this fic & i hope you liked how i portrayed our boys, all of them, and i hope you enjoyed this build up (i sure know i loved writing it!)
> 
> basically it’s marked incomplete because i want to upload an epilogue - yesss, more exo interactions, and ofc, some smut :) - but the fic itself is complete!
> 
> as for all my readers, thank you so much for every kudo, every comment, just- every single one of you is amazing and i’m so happy i managed to write something that kept you interested enough to read this now <3
> 
> i’ll be working hard on that epilogue, and hopefully, as soon as exams and work are done kicking my ass, i’ll be able to upload it (just letting you know i’m definitely making it up to you guys for this short ass chapter)
> 
> LOVE Y’ALL~


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